So, it’s been a year since I posted on my old blog.  Time waits for no one…it’s rather depressing.

Today I woke up at 430am to the sound of chirping birds.  I made a facebook comment about it and realized waking up to chirping birds wasn’t so bad IF I look at what could be, or in all actuality- WHERE I CAME FROM!

Some of my friends and family expressed that their morning wake up is sirens from the city fire station, or a freight train, even falling asleep to the sounds of curses coming from a nearby park.   That reminded me of where I’ve been…not too long ago.

When I lived in the city, which does by the way have it’s good points, the teenage neighbors used to spend their weekends prank ordering pizzas and taxis to eachother.   We’d wake up to cabs beeping their horns at random hours of the day and night, or people yelling out the windows.  We’d pass a diapered toddler at our first floor entrance and my then 7 year old would tell me someone in that apartment must’ve burnt their french toast.  It was the smell of sweet cigar paper and burning marijuana.

I used to buy cheap buckets of chalk and bubbles for the kids to play outside while I sat on the porch.  To me, these kids had less than.  They went without while my child didn’t and suffered in public city schools when my child was carted off to her private school.   There was one time where the childless woman next door came out with her hose and washed all the kids chalk drawings off the sidewalk while they stood and watched.  She said the chalk drawings were “reducing the property value of her home.”  Really?  So, lets bore the kids to death with nothing to do.  In years to come you will be yelling at them for selling crack on that same corner.  This is not how I grew up.

Sometimes it’s easy to forget where you came from.  We are healthy,  Kdawg and I.  I now own my own home and there is peace and love in my house.  I make a fair income but it never really came easy.  It’s easy to say, “you have a great job you are lucky,” but I was not walking down the street one day when I just happened to stumble across a good job that would ultimately buy me a house, nor was I born with the financial restraint to be able to do so.    However, there are times when I question what my life would be like if I didn’t do everything backwards.  At the same time, I wonder who chose the order of things to begin with?

Would I be 35, with a job but not happy, in college with a child a year away from entering High School?  Would I be single?  Would my daughter have siblings her age?  Would I be married?  How about happy?  Would I be happy?  It seems like one thing missing makes all the difference in life.

That goes without saying…

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